I realize you have no idea who I am, but I stumbled across this story and I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed it. I love Addison/Derek and you captured their relationship so well and what it is about this couple that's most likely headed for heartbreak. I especially liked the last line--it really sums up Addison and how hard she works to hide feeling vulnerable.

Thanks so much for your feedback! You're actually the first Addison/Derek fan I've 'met' (g). And yes, it's rather obvious they're heading for heartbreak, but so many questions -- how did they get to here from there, for instance -- that I hope are addressed before the inevitable.

I'd love for them to live happily ever after, but when the writers are cutting out their scenes because they have too much chemistry, it doesn't make me very optimistic *sigh*. But I would love to see a glimpse of what made each of them "the love of my life", or a bit of backstory. And if they do break up, I'd like to see Addison stick around anyhow. She's too great a character to go back to New York and never be heard from again.

I've only met a handful of Addison/Derek fans so far, but there are quite a few more out there. I'm surprised at the following this pairing has--I'm used to being the only one supporting my couples!

Are the writers really cutting their scenes because of the chemistry? That's a shame. I too would very much love to see the backstory, and I really want to see them work on the marriage. It'd be way too easy (and I'd hate it too) if Derek just went back to Meredith without even trying. I mean, he's just been passive-aggressive this entire time, and not putting forth any kind of effort; what's that all about? I don't really care for Meredith, but Derek's not too high on the list either.

And I'm seeing more and more people liking Addison on the Grey's Writers blog and even a few people advocating that she and Derek stay together. I think it's pre-ordained that Derek and Meredith end up together, but I'm hoping it's not anytime soon!

Kate Walsh said in an interview that they shot some scenes with Derek and Addison that ended up getting taken out because they had too much chemistry. And someone on the writers blog said that there were some extra Derek/Addison scenes in the trailer that weren't used, but might be used in future episodes (I think this was for episode 3.16). If this is true, it's not really fair. Cutting out Derek/Addison scenes isn't going to make Derek/Meredith a better couple. If they can't be a great couple in their own right, they shouldn't be a couple at all.

I don't hate Meredith, but I don't think she's good with Derek. What she really needs is to move on (although Derek hasn't been making that easy for her, which is unfair to both her and Addison), be single for awhile, and then start a new relationship with someone who's actually honest with her and doesn't go for months without telling her that he's actually married.

Last Sunday's episode did make me a little more hopeful for Derek/Addison. I had pretty much convinced myself that they were going to break up due to the "come to terms with their relationship" spoiler, so I was pleasantly surprised to see Derek actually notice Addison for once and even admit to his share of the problems in their marriage. The bit where Mer and Der were in surgery and Mer asked Derek if he thought Natalie Cole's character and her husband would really move to Paris, and Derek looked up into the gallery for Addison and said "I hope so" made me ridiculously happy.

Cutting out Derek/Addison scenes isn't going to make Derek/Meredith a better couple. If they can't be a great couple in their own right, they shouldn't be a couple at all.

I agree. The thing about Meredith and Derek is that they are *so* bad for each other in so many ways. Everyone thinks they share a deep abiding love for each other, and they may definitely have a strong chemistry, but they both have a lot of growing up to do. Derek's immaturity shows in his indecisiveness and the fact he clearly held something back from Meredith. Meredith has an inability to stop sleeping with 'inappropriate' men while she's desperately seeking to fill the void left by a stern mother and an absent father.

TO me, it'd be more satisfying (though not the outcome I'd want) if Meredith and Derek got together *after* Derek and Addison made a concentrated effort to save their marriage. Without that effort, it's like why bother in the first place? My guess is that the writers *are* going to make an effort. They like Kate Walsh and Addison way too much to let her go, and Derek's brief flare up of jealousy when he saw Addison talking to another man was pretty telling (considering he didn't show that when Mark showed up, unless you count leaving the elevator).

I had pretty much convinced myself that they were going to break up due to the "come to terms with their relationship" spoiler, so I was pleasantly surprised to see Derek actually notice Addison for once and even admit to his share of the problems in their marriage.

I agree. I very much liked this and that makes me optimistic. THat scene combined with the 'Paris' one, and the laughing over the poison oak.

The bit where Mer and Der were in surgery and Mer asked Derek if he thought Natalie Cole's character and her husband would really move to Paris, and Derek looked up into the gallery for Addison and said "I hope so" made me ridiculously happy.

It surprised me because I honestly thought he'd look at Meredith when he said 'I hope so' and instead, he was looking up at Addison. As if he was searching her out and kind of realizing what he really wanted and needed -- that he'd checked out, that time was wasting, and maybe he wanted to try *really* try again.

I also find it significant this scene was prior to the revelation re George. I've read a lot of comments where people say the revelation about George was what made Derek turn back to Addison and apologize, but truly, he'd already been shifting towards Addison during the surgery, and I think George was the final nail in the coffin. As if Derek realized the Meredith made an error in judgement, and perhaps he was contributing to that by leading her on, or maybe it was simply that she no longer had any benchmark as to what is and isn't appropriate.

Or something.

Even before Addison showed up, I didn't think she and Derek had all that much of a relationship, and certainly not the makings of true love. It was mostly sexual, from what I remember, and if Derek didn't tell Meredith that he was married then how serious could he have been about her? I still can't really understand why Meredith forgave him for that omission, because that's a big secret to keep. I do think that Derek likes Meredith because she looks up to him and calls him McDreamy, which has to be flattering, especially after Addison's betrayal, but it just doesn't seem like enough to base an entire relationship on, or justify ending eleven years of marriage for.

I watched Derek and Addison in 2.02 the other day, and what Addison said to him in that episode was pretty much what Derek admitted to last week, that they got busy and stopped paying attention to each other and Mark was more of a symptom of their problems than the root of them. Derek wasn't ready to hear any of that back then, so it was good to see that he's finally ready to take his share of responsibility for what happened. Addison was definitely in the wrong for sleeping with Mark, but she probably wouldn't have done it if she'd been getting what she needed from Derek.

I think Derek saw some similarities between Meredith's sleeping with George and Addison's infidelity with Mark. Both of them had made a bad decision by sleeping with someone they shouldn't have, and in the process had hurt someone they cared very much about. I saw Derek's advice that Meredith keep apologizing to George until he was ready to listen to her as a recognition that that was what Addison had been doing with him, and he was finally ready to listen to her. I think you're right about Derek already starting to turn towards Addison before the talk with Meredith, though, that seemed to come about between Natalie Cole and her husband and seeing Addison with her patient's husband.

Afterall, it was twice in this last episode that Derek was with Meredith but tuned her out to search for Addison, which is certainly a change from what we've seen recently. I'm hopeful that he's finally realized that he's been taking her for granted and is going to make more of an effort in his marriage.

Even before Addison showed up, I didn't think she and Derek had all that much of a relationship, and certainly not the makings of true love.

I didn't see much of the first season, but from what I remember, it was mostly Meredith telling Derek she wasn't going to date him, and then they'd somehow hop into bed together. I know there are people who say you can fall in love at first sight and maybe that's what this was (or they think it was), but they have *way* too many things they don't know about each other. I think Derek's picking of Addison was a reflection of that -- he was strongly attracted to Meredith, perhaps even believed he was in love with her -- but he was wary for a reason and went with the safe choice, or realized that for the long run, Addison was better for him. It might not have been a conscious choice, but rather a gut feeling.

It was mostly sexual, from what I remember, and if Derek didn't tell Meredith that he was married then how serious could he have been about her? I still can't really understand why Meredith forgave him for that omission, because that's a big secret to keep. I do think that Derek likes Meredith because she looks up to him and calls him McDreamy, which has to be flattering, especially after Addison's betrayal, but it just doesn't seem like enough to base an entire relationship on, or justify ending eleven years of marriage for.

Meredith doesn't have the best judgement (g), so I'm assuming her automatic forgival of McDreamy falls into that category. And yes, McDreamy is probably attracted by an intern who obviously adores and idolizes him and maybe he has the upper hand this time around. Something happened to make him 'indifferent' (ouch) to Addison and maybe Meredith is the anti-Addison. The other thing is, perhaps McDreamy recognizes he's being given a second chance and while he can't bring himself to apologize to Addison (prior to last week), he decides to start over again, maybe emphasizing those actions that he never did towards the latter part of his marriage with Addison (I'm assuming he must have been McDreamy towards her at least for the first part of the marriage -- it was only recently she cheated).

I think Derek saw some similarities between Meredith's sleeping with George and Addison's infidelity with Mark. Both of them had made a bad decision by sleeping with someone they shouldn't have, and in the process had hurt someone they cared very much about. I saw Derek's advice that Meredith keep apologizing to George until he was ready to listen to her as a recognition that that was what Addison had been doing with him, and he was finally ready to listen to her.

Yes, but I do still think he was hurt by Meredith's revelation. Though I'm still confused as to how he could still hold a torch for Meredith, knowing she *keeps* sleeping around -- hardly the epitome of love. Or what do I know? (g) For me, that would be a big turn-off, no matter how much I cared about a person, and it says something about the person too. Sure, Meredith is screwed up, and I think Derek recognizes that, but at some point he has to recognize her behavior puts him at risk.

Afterall, it was twice in this last episode that Derek was with Meredith but tuned her out to search for Addison, which is certainly a change from what we've seen recently. I'm hopeful that he's finally realized that he's been taking her for granted and is going to make more of an effort in his marriage.

I hope so. I thought his searching out of Addison when Meredith asked about Paris was incredibly hopeful, like he was already visualizing them reconstructing their marriage and starting all over again -- and he was looking forward to it. If that wasn't the case, he would have answered that remark and looked at *Meredith*, but he didn't do that. And it couldn't have been fear of Addison; she was up in the gallery, she couldn't hear what they were saying and he could have easily told Meredith he was hoping to take *her* to Paris and Addison would have been none the wiser (kind of like the dog-walking).

I'm hopeful about the episode description for tomorrow night. I did watch the Yahoo clips today and I'll leave it at that unless you've already seen them.

http://tv.yahoo.com/feature/greysanatomy.html

Aww, poor Addison. I feel bad for her, watching that clip. It has to suck to have people run away from you whenever you approach them, and I really hope the episode isn't going to be in that vein. I'd like to see Derek paying more attention to her!

I know there are people who say you can fall in love at first sight and maybe that's what this was (or they think it was), but they have *way* too many things they don't know about each other.

When I think about it, that's probably why I've never been that into Derek and Meredith's relationship, even before Addison showed up and I fell in love with her character. I don't believe in love at first sight--lust and infatuation, absolutely. But I believe that in order to truly be in love with someone, you need to have the emotional intimacy that comes with knowing someone for awhile and opening yourself up to each other. Derek and Meredith hadn't gotten anywhere near this point, and I really think that their relationship would have fizzled out if Addison hadn't shown up when she did. But because things with Meredith ended on a high note, Derek's having trouble letting go.

I'm assuming he must have been McDreamy towards her at least for the first part of the marriage -- it was only recently she cheated

Eleven years is a long time to be married, so yes, I agree that Derek must have been loving and attentive when he and Addison were first married. I could see Meredith putting up with being ignored because she seems very insecure about herself and the type to stay in a less than satisfactory relationship, but I can't imagine Addison would have married Derek if he'd been like that to her from the start. She's much more capable of being single, and if things end with Derek, she'll obviously be hurt and disappointed but I don't see her completely falling apart like Meredith did. Addison's a much stronger person than that, which I think might hurt her at times since she needs love and support and admiration just like anyone does but isn't as vocal about it. Her approach is so different from Meredith's--where Meredith said "pick me", Addison told Derek that she wanted to work things out but if he didn't think it was possible, she'd sign the divorce papers if he did. And I think she's hurting just as badly as Meredith, but because she doesn't make a big production out of it, Derek doesn't notice.

Aww, poor Addison. I feel bad for her, watching that clip. It has to suck to have people run away from you whenever you approach them, and I really hope the episode isn't going to be in that vein. I'd like to see Derek paying more attention to her!


Me too. I just didn't know *what* to make of that clip. It seems like they are STILL at an impasse in this episode. Which doesn't make sense given the spoiler. I guess we'll find out in a couple of hours, huh? (g).

But because things with Meredith ended on a high note, Derek's having trouble letting go.

He literally wants his Kate and Edith (Ellen) too (g) (I couldn't resist, sorry). There's possibly something about Meredith he finds appealing, that was 'missing' in Addison or his relationship with Addison. And he can't let go of that. The fact he's holding on so hard is just not fair -- to either woman.

And I think she's hurting just as badly as Meredith, but because she doesn't make a big production out of it, Derek doesn't notice.

And doesn't want to notice, perhaps. He's probably just hoping one of them resolves the situation *for* him, and that's that. He could just be indecisive and wanting either Addison or Meredith to say "enough is enough" and he'll stay with the one who doesn't leave. Derek called Addison passive-aggressive, but honestly, *he* is the passive aggressive one.

Derek and Addison were cute in Sunday's episode but there needed to be much more of them. And where was that scene where they talk about permanant living arrangements? I was really mad that they left it out, and while I've settled down for the most part, I really want them to air it in a future episode. It's not fair that they keep cutting Addie and Derek's scenes!

There's possibly something about Meredith he finds appealing, that was 'missing' in Addison or his relationship with Addison.

I think he likes that Meredith looks up to him and calls him McDreamy. It's always nice to be admired, he's getting older--if he's not forty yet, he likely will be soon--and some people have trouble with milestones like that, and I just can't picture Addison calling him McDreamy unless she was being funny about it. She doesn't have that wide eyed worship of him that Meredith does. She fell off her pedastal when she slept with Mark, whereas Meredith is still perfect to him.

But in spite of all that, I still believe he would be better off with Addison. Yes, it's nice to be admired, but it gets old after awhile, and it's certainly nowhere near enough to take the place of everything Addison brings to his life. She's a much better balance for him than Meredith.

He's probably just hoping one of them resolves the situation *for* him, and that's that.

Oh, he absolutely is. Right now he has both Addison and Meredith, and why would he want to change it? If he makes a decision one way or the other, he's going to have to hurt someone. If he and Addie do break up, I don't want him to devastate her after she's given up everything for him (when he couldn't even give up his girlfriend), but I also don't want Addison to make things easy for him.

I totally agree on Derek being passive-aggressive. When something's upsetting him, he refuses to talk about it with Addison and instead acts distant with her all day, which isn't helpful to their marriage and is only hurtful to her.

Derek and Addison were cute in Sunday's episode but there needed to be much more of them. And where was that scene where they talk about permanant living arrangements? I was really mad that they left it out, and while I've settled down for the most part, I really want them to air it in a future episode. It's not fair that they keep cutting Addie and Derek's scenes!

I know! I was upset about the cut scene as well. My one hope is that they left together, so maybe they were going to look at houses? I just went and looked at TWoP and it wasn't looking great there, but pretty much everyone at that board hates Addison, so who knows what's going on?

She doesn't have that wide eyed worship of him that Meredith does. She fell off her pedastal when she slept with Mark, whereas Meredith is still perfect to him.

That's probably true, though I suspect the varnish was well off the Shepards' marriage before she slept with Mark. I don't see Addison doing something so stupid and hurtful without really feeling driven to it. And maybe Mark just said all the right things, she believed she was falling in love with someone who was clearly in love with her. And catching them in bed was probably eye-opening for Derek, for any number of reasons.

She's a much better balance for him than Meredith.

She could stand up to him, that's definitely for sure. And she's not intimidated by him. In fact, it's probably why he was attracted to her. THey are both immensely successful and intelligent doctors. And stars in their respective fields -- that drive that drove them apart is probably what brought them together in the first place. I don't think Meredith has that same sense of drive or perfection; Meredith just wants to be a decent doctor. If Addison and Derek were competing in anyway, maybe Derek thinks it's refreshing to have someone around whom he obviously knows more than and can tutor. It probably wasn't that way with Addison (despite their different specialities).

ight now he has both Addison and Meredith, and why would he want to change it? If he makes a decision one way or the other, he's going to have to hurt someone. If he and Addie do break up, I don't want him to devastate her after she's given up everything for him (when he couldn't even give up his girlfriend), but I also don't want Addison to make things easy for him.

I just re-read the scrips from earlier eps and Derek clearly says he wants Addison to move to Seattle, whereas she's ready to go back to NYC. He's the one who pushes her to give it all up and come and save their marriage. So it would be really, really sucky if Derek ends the marriage this season WITHOUT TRYING (sorry, sorry) after persuading Addison he was sincere in his intention. I'm holding out that Shonda and company are more intelligent and creative than the stereotypical cliffhanger, and it will be something *more* than Derek choosing between the two or Meredith picking between two guys or Addison walking out (or any number of ways to end the triangle in a way that doesn't favor our OTP).

I totally agree on Derek being passive-aggressive. When something's upsetting him, he refuses to talk about it with Addison and instead acts distant with her all day, which isn't helpful to their marriage and is only hurtful to her.

And that's possibly not something new with him, but something that he did all along, which could be another reason why their marriage deteriorated.

I know! I was upset about the cut scene as well. My one hope is that they left together, so maybe they were going to look at houses? I just went and looked at TWoP and it wasn't looking great there, but pretty much everyone at that board hates Addison, so who knows what's going on?

TWoP's GA threads are just depressing to read. Even the Addek threads are filled with MerDers talking about how Derek and Addie are so wrong for each other, and the spoiler speculation, well, everything is always about Derek ending things with Addison. There could be a spoiler about "Cristina buys new shoes" and the TWoP boards would interpret it as "Cristina goes shopping with Meredith, who is buying a new outfit to wear on her date with Derek when he takes her out for a romantic evening after breaking up with Addison."

I agree that Addison wouldn't have slept with Mark unless she'd been unhappy for a long time. "Band-Aid Covers the Bullet Wound" seemed to give a little glimpse into their life pre-Mark, in that Addie wants to feel noticed and appreciated, she goes to Derek for it but he blows her off, and then she turns elsewhere. I'm guessing that she was feeling sad and lonely for a long time, Derek either didn't see or was refusing to see, and then Mark was there and she had a moment of weakness. And I can see why she stayed with Mark afterwards--she had already lost everything, so why not stay with someone who loved and appreciated her?

She could stand up to him, that's definitely for sure. And she's not intimidated by him.

And I really think that that's what Derek needs in a romantic partner. Isn't that what keeps a relationship fresh and interesting? They're both highly intelligent, very driven people, and the old "opposites attract" saying just isn't true--there have been studies done on this, and people do tend to end up with partners who are similar to them physically, intellectually, and financially. I'm sure Meredith isn't stupid, but she doesn't really have the drive that Addison does, and I do think she's coasted a bit in her life, being the daughter of a famous surgeon.

I'm also wondering how much of Derek's being "in love" with Meredith is actually a fear of getting close to Addison again for fear of being hurt again. It could be that it's easier for him to believe that he's in love with someone else than it is to face such a difficult and painful time in his life.

At this point, the only way I could see this resolving without my wanting to scream and throw thing at my TV is for Addison to confront Derek on the way he's been acting and tell him that he has to choose for good this time. In my perfect world, he would choose Addison, but I honestly have no idea what the writers are going to do.

You know, we should probably gather all AdDek fans and even Addison lovers to join the TWoP boards at the same time and just shut them up once and for all. Seriously, TI is so much more realistic. It's like to them, every single little detail has to be about Meredith. It's just Meredith Meredith and nothing else but Meredith. God.

As for Derek's indecisive choice to being with Meredith or Addison, I'm over the point of pissed off to numb towards his character. It's like I've been mad at him for so long that I gave up being mad at him. Like it's suddenly not worth it to be mad at him when all he does is to be passive aggressive about everything, giving only half his effort in trying to make the marriage work and shiz like that.

Althought at the moment, I'm more annoyed at the fact that AdDek scenes are cut off. Like the apartment stuff? Where on earth did it go? o_O

Anyway, about the fic. I love it. :D I like how she confronted him without fear of loosing him. Very well-done!

As for Derek's indecisive choice to being with Meredith or Addison, I'm over the point of pissed off to numb towards his character. It's like I've been mad at him for so long that I gave up being mad at him. Like it's suddenly not worth it to be mad at him when all he does is to be passive aggressive about everything, giving only half his effort in trying to make the marriage work and shiz like that.

This is a great description and pretty much exactly how I feel about Derek. It's like, why bother? Why ask Addison to move to Seattle, give up her NYC practice if he isn't even going to try?

Althought at the moment, I'm more annoyed at the fact that AdDek scenes are cut off. Like the apartment stuff? Where on earth did it go?

I kept waiting, and waiting and then... nothing. And I've noticed that the writers' blog and the podcasts have absolutely nothing to say about Addison/Derek. There's plenty of Meredith and Derek, but nothing on our OTP. But I also did notice in the comments section of the writers' blog that more and more people seem to be speaking up in support of Addison, and there is even a minority that supports Derek/Addison. So maybe all hope isn't lost...

Anyway, about the fic. I love it. :D I like how she confronted him without fear of loosing him. Very well-done!

Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.

There could be a spoiler about "Cristina buys new shoes" and the TWoP boards would interpret it as "Cristina goes shopping with Meredith, who is buying a new outfit to wear on her date with Derek when he takes her out for a romantic evening after breaking up with Addison."

ROTFL! That's so exactly right.

I'm sure Meredith isn't stupid, but she doesn't really have the drive that Addison does, and I do think she's coasted a bit in her life, being the daughter of a famous surgeon.

Not to mention, she doesn't even really seem to know if she *wants* to be a surgeon. And she lacks Addison's self-confidence. And we can't forget that Derek was only in Seattle for six weeks when he met Meredith. No doubt he was still fuming over Addison and Mark and was in a vulnerable place. Meredith was his rebound, and Meredith saw in Derek everything she wants to be and that he could be the support she's never really had in her life because he says/does all the right things (with the exception of telling her about his wife).

I'm also wondering how much of Derek's being "in love" with Meredith is actually a fear of getting close to Addison again for fear of being hurt again. It could be that it's easier for him to believe that he's in love with someone else than it is to face such a difficult and painful time in his life.

Well, it was awfully hard for him to give Addison that apology, so your statement is correct on some level.

At this point, the only way I could see this resolving without my wanting to scream and throw thing at my TV is for Addison to confront Derek on the way he's been acting and tell him that he has to choose for good this time. In my perfect world, he would choose Addison, but I honestly have no idea what the writers are going to do.

I would prefer that ending as well, rather than the ending I'm fearing with great, massive trepidation, when once again, Derek has to choose! Or Meredith has to choose! And Addison is just standing at the sidelines. The only comfort is that Addison played hard and for keeps; she never stood a chance with the way Derek treated her and their marriage.

(and look at me, already assuming Addison and Derek are coming to an end this season; the only hope I have is that the writers wouldn't have given us the Addison & Derek laugh re the poison oak or Derek's apology if they meant to break them up a couple episodes later. But then they didn't show us anything about Addison and Derek talking about more permanent living arrangements, so who knows what's going on?).

Not to mention, she doesn't even really seem to know if she *wants* to be a surgeon.

I can see Meredith in pediatrics, or maybe general practice, but she just doesn't seem cut out for surgery. I don't think she would be in that field if it wasn't for her mother--maybe she thought it was expected of her? She doesn't seem to have the drive to succeed in surgery.

Meredith was his rebound, and Meredith saw in Derek everything she wants to be and that he could be the support she's never really had in her life because he says/does all the right things (with the exception of telling her about his wife).

Which is a pretty big mistake to make. I think the MerDer pairing bugs me because they break all the rules of successful relationships (because really, what are the chances of a one-night stand turning out to be the love of your life?). If they were a real couple, they would never work out. I remember one of the writers posted on the blog that they made the Meredith/George sex out to be a huge mistake because that's how it works in real life, which I can understand and respect, but by that note, MerDer wouldn't work out either.

I would prefer that ending as well, rather than the ending I'm fearing with great, massive trepidation, when once again, Derek has to choose! Or Meredith has to choose! And Addison is just standing at the sidelines. The only comfort is that Addison played hard and for keeps; she never stood a chance with the way Derek treated her and their marriage.

At this point, I just don't want Addison to get hurt too badly. I'm sure she will to some extent because she really does love Derek and she's been fighting hard for her marriage, but I don't want her to be blindsided by Derek suddenly announcing that it's over and he wants a divorce. She's been trying so hard, and he hasn't hardly been trying at all. It just wouldn't be fair if he went off with Meredith and left her hurt and alone.

I honestly have no idea what the writers have planned for Derek and Addison, but I really would like them to give their marriage a REAL try before calling things quits. Or, y'know, they could work out their problems and become the awesome, kickass couple that they have the potential to be.

I can see Meredith in pediatrics, or maybe general practice, but she just doesn't seem cut out for surgery. I don't think she would be in that field if it wasn't for her mother--maybe she thought it was expected of her? She doesn't seem to have the drive to succeed in surgery

I wonder if it's not so much her perception of being *expected* to do surgery, but rather choosing it to win approval from her mother, y'know? I get the feeling Meredith's been starved for approval and affection -- her father was AWOL, and her mother didn't seem to have much use. Maybe Meredith thought surgery would be the way to get close to her mother and then lo, behold, her mother has Alzheimer's, and there goes the one chance of connection they actually might have formed a relationship on. And Meredith's stuck in something she might not have necessarily picked for herself in the first place.

(because really, what are the chances of a one-night stand turning out to be the love of your life?)

Especially one when you don't bother introducing yourself, where you say "and you will be gone when I come back" type things. How Derek could even see past Meredith's initial rudeness is another thing. THey must have had one hell of a conversation at Joe's before sleeping together. I think I might have believed that they did have an amazing chemistry, connection and spark at first sight/conversation, if it weren't for the fact Meredith is pretty indiscriminate when it comes to the people she sleeps with.

It just wouldn't be fair if he went off with Meredith and left her hurt and alone.

I want to believe Addison will pull it together and give Derek the ultimatum -- I think the only reason she hasn't done so is because she's too vulnerable and afraid he'll pick Meredith -- and that he'll pick her. But that's doubtful. More likely, Addison will pull herself together and act classily etc., as if she never had a broken heart and they'll introduce a new love interest for her.

I honestly have no idea what the writers have planned for Derek and Addison, but I really would like them to give their marriage a REAL try before calling things quits. Or, y'know, they could work out their problems and become the awesome, kickass couple that they have the potential to be.

From your fingers' to the writers' ears. I won't be unhappy or threaten to boycott the show if they break up Derek/Addison (or is that just resignation?), but I would at least like them to have given it a fair shot.

I wonder if it's not so much her perception of being *expected* to do surgery, but rather choosing it to win approval from her mother, y'know?

I wonder how long her mom has been sick? I don't know a whole lot about Alzheimer's, but it seems like Ellis is pretty much living in the past all the time now, which would mean that the disease must be advanced. And didn't Meredith take some time off after college to party, and then went to med school? But I think you're right in that Meredith probably chose surgery because she was looking for approval and affection, which she hasn't had a lot of in her life.

How Derek could even see past Meredith's initial rudeness is another thing. THey must have had one hell of a conversation at Joe's before sleeping together.

Maybe he put up with her rudeness because he wasn't all that serious about her and just wanted a fling? They had a lot of sex, but not much of a relationship outside of that. Another thing that concerns me about DerMer is that Derek's not very good at separating his personal life from his professional one, especially when it comes to Meredith. He was blatantly favoring her and choosing her for surgeries for awhile after they got together, and the only reason he stopped was because Bailey read him the riot act. Isn't that why attendings aren't supposed to date interns?

I want to believe Addison will pull it together and give Derek the ultimatum -- I think the only reason she hasn't done so is because she's too vulnerable and afraid he'll pick Meredith -- and that he'll pick her.

I thought Addison looked really vulnerable in the scene where Derek admitted that he had been indifferent to her, almost like she was afraid of what he was going to say. And then when he said "I'm working on it" she lit up and gave him this great smile. I think she's been trying not to rock the boat lately, and as a result Derek's been behaving rather badly to her.

I do wonder who he would pick if Addison made him choose. He goes for months without seeming to notice Addie, but he reacted rather strongly when Meredith was pushing him to sign the divorce papers, and he also seemed jealous when he saw Addie laughing with her patient's husband. He obviously does have feelings for her--I think he's still too afraid to face them.

I won't be unhappy or threaten to boycott the show if they break up Derek/Addison (or is that just resignation?), but I would at least like them to have given it a fair shot.

Yes. If Addison/Derek break up, it should be because they're truly not compatable anymore (which I don't really believe) and not because of Meredith. And if they do break up, I want to see Derek realize he's been an idiot and have to really work to get Addie to give him another chance.

I'd rather see them together, but at the very least I want Addison to stick around no matter what. There's a new cast picture out with Addison in it, which makes me hopeful that that's the case.

First of all, I love how Addison knew he went to see Meredith and totally called him on it. That makes me happy in fic because it's something that's not happening on the show and it should.

Second of all, I hate Derek. Forever and always. He needs to make a decision and STICK TO IT and...klsdfdkg. I don't know. I do love this fic, though, just because Addison seems very...aware, and that's something I'm not getting from her on the show anymore.

You should definitely write more. There's not enough well-written, realistic Addie/Derek fic in the world. < 3

First of all, I love how Addison knew he went to see Meredith and totally called him on it. That makes me happy in fic because it's something that's not happening on the show and it should.


Thanks! Addison isn't stupid, and Derek hasn't bothered to hide his feelings for Meredith and I just felt that enough was enough -- she *had* to say something.

Second of all, I hate Derek. Forever and always. He needs to make a decision and STICK TO IT and...klsdfdkg. I don't know.

I'm not sure that 'hate' is the right word for how I feel about him, but I'm certainly not respecting him right now. If he was actually *trying*, then yeah, maybe, but he's not even trying and that's kind of annoying in oh so many ways.

I do love this fic, though, just because Addison seems very...aware, and that's something I'm not getting from her on the show anymore.

I'm glad you liked it, and especially that I managed to show Addison knows what's going on. Because really, she can't be as obtuse as they're making her seem, or as clingy, or desperate.

ou should definitely write more. There's not enough well-written, realistic Addie/Derek fic in the world.

Thanks! I certainly intend to. This is a couple that's just very interesting and I'd love it if they actually had a chance at making it. That's something you don't see very often -- the hard work it takes to put a marriage back together after the trust is broken.

I'm not sure that 'hate' is the right word for how I feel about him, but I'm certainly not respecting him right now. If he was actually *trying*, then yeah, maybe, but he's not even trying and that's kind of annoying in oh so many ways.

Oh, I hate him. I hate him because he never told Meredith he was married, which was incredibly mean, and he doesn't try with Addie, which is also incredibly mean, and he's just not a very good guy. Also, everyone else (well, the general Grey's-watching population, anyway) seems to adore him, so I feel like I should hate him, as I usually love and hate the opposite of what I'm supposed to. I am a fandom rebel like that. :p

Ugh, these writers. I used to trust them, but now I don't know. They make me uneasy. I just want my Addie to be happy. Sigh.

Oh, I hate him. I hate him because he never told Meredith he was married, which was incredibly mean, and he doesn't try with Addie, which is also incredibly mean, and he's just not a very good guy. Also, everyone else (well, the general Grey's-watching population, anyway) seems to adore him, so I feel like I should hate him, as I usually love and hate the opposite of what I'm supposed to. I am a fandom rebel like that. :p

Well, when you put it *that* way...

He's totally McDreamy, in that fantasy we women have, but he's selectively McDreamy, and I think people prefer to look at the way they *want* him to be based on an initial perception, versus how he actually *is*.

I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading this fic. :)

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it.

ps -- Love your icon.